Not Me Monday, I mean Wednesday...Poop Edition

It's NOT Monday...I know, but I've had so many fun things going on around here...er...I mean NOT going on around here.  You can link back to MckMama's blog carnival to read more "not me's" .

I'm pretty sure my life does NOT revolve around poop.  With two kids in diapers, there is never a dull moment around here.

I did NOT change Syd's diaper and leave her naked to "air out" for literally 30 seconds.  I did NOT hear Bryce say "Mama, Sydney pooped", to which I did NOT quickly dismiss him and continue on.  After running up to her room to get a change of clothes, I did NOT hear my husband screaming "Sydney NOOOOOO!"  I did NOT return to find him wiping her off and cleaning up POOP that she *DID NOT* put in her mouth, and leave all over the pile of books she was sitting on.  (I did NOT quickly apologize to Bryce for not listening to him when he was nice enough to tell me Sydney shit on a pile of books, which she then proceeded to eat.)

Quiet child = trouble.  Why do I NOT get that yet?  I was unloading the dishwasher and Bryce was watching tv quietly, to my surprise.  Great!  When I checked on him a few minutes later, I did NOT discover that his hand was in his diaper, and it was NOT covered in poop.  He also did NOT wipe it on two of the couch cushions.  I did NOT have to scrub poop out from under his nails and strip the couch slipcover to wash it. 

(This one is NOT about urine)
Coming home after a night out, I did NOT hear my 10 month old screaming at 10:30pm.  After 15 minutes, I did NOT go into her room to console her, only to find that she was drenched from head to toe with pee.  I did NOT undress her to discover that our dear sweet babysitter got her ready for bed in a swim diaper.  I did NOT have to strip the crib, change all sheets/blankets, and wash and redress her, then attempt to get her back to bed.  I do NOT need to remind myself to show the babysitter where we keep the real diapers.